


After the nightmare, despair

by NoMoreBeer4U



Series: After the nightmare series [8]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e21 Meridian, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:02:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24678931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMoreBeer4U/pseuds/NoMoreBeer4U
Summary: Daniel is dead and Jack is having a hard time dealing with that. Will Daniel be able to help?
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Series: After the nightmare series [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704055
Kudos: 16





	After the nightmare, despair

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just play with them. Non-commercial purposes intended.
> 
> Set just after Meridian. Also, mention of s05e19 Menace.
> 
> WARNING: This story contains suicidal thoughts. If you have issues with that subject, please DO NOT READ.

Jack came into his house, and as soon as he shut the door, he leaned heavily against it. He was panting and quivering from head to toes. His haunted eyes stared blankly at an invisible spot on the wall. He tried to swallow the huge lump in his throat, but it was stuck there, unmoving. He noticed his shaking legs couldn’t hold his weight anymore, and let himself slid to the floor. He bent his knees and pulled them against his chest. He didn’t even know what to do with his hands so he just left them resting palms up on the floor. He bent his head to his knees and finally let out the tears that he had been holding back for hours.

Daniel was dead. Gone. Forever. No miraculous resurrections this time He had died, drowned in his own fluids and he hadn’t even left a body to mourn. And he didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye as he wished. Like the other times they had been observed, they had to put an act at the infirmary, and that had killed Jack inside.

_Despite the fact that you’ve been a terrific pain in the ass for the last five years, I may have, might have grown to admire you a little, I think._

Way to go O’Neill! It was one thing to put an act, it was another one to come up with the shittiest sentence of his entire life. But Daniel had understood. Jack knew he had understood the hidden message.

_Despite our differences, I love you more than anything, I always have and I always will. You’re my life, my heart, and my soul, forever._

His shoulders started to shake at the rhythm of his silent sobs. He couldn’t think, he could just feel the unbearable pain that was shattering his heart and ripping apart his soul. He had managed to behave himself in front of the general and his teammates, playing the tough soldier role. Badass Colonels never cried for fallen comrades. But he couldn’t keep that façade anymore. Carter had wanted to take comfort from him, to share her pain with him, but how could he comfort someone when he felt his world was over? When he felt dead himself? The most treasured thing in his life was gone. And it was his fault.

God, why hadn’t he asked him to stay? Implored him to stay? Jacob was healing him, wasn’t he? Why had Daniel asked him to let him go when he had had a chance to live? Why the hell had he listened to him and asked Jacob to stop? At that moment in the ghost Gateroom, he felt as if he was in some sort of trance. He acted like a zombie. His mind felt fuzzy and he couldn’t think clearly. Letting Daniel go had seemed the right thing to do. Not anymore. What if he had hallucinated everything after all? Because Daniel would never have left him willingly, would he? Jacob said he couldn’t heal him completely. What did that mean exactly? That he would have had to quit gate-traveling? That he would have ended up crippled or something worse? Damned the Tok’ra and their fucking ambiguity!

_Shit! At least he would have been alive! We could have faced the effects of his illness together!_

He had been so afraid of that for so long… he had feared that Daniel’s self-sacrifice sense would kill him someday, and that day had arrived, eventually. And now Daniel was gone, his friend, his lover, the man who he considered his husband was gone, and all Jack could feel was a cold emptiness inside his gut and an unbearable pain in his heart, that is if he had a heart anymore because as far as he was concerned, Daniel was his heart and his soul. Then how an organ he didn’t have anymore could hurt so much? He wrapped his arms around his chest, the same way he had seen his lover do so many times. He pressed his forehead against his knees harder and cried bitterly, lost in absolute despair.

Some feet above him, Daniel was watching. Actually, he wasn’t sure how he was able to see anything considering the fact he didn’t have eyes anymore, but there he was, a formless bunch of glowing tendrils, invisible to Jack. And maybe he didn’t have eyes anymore, and maybe he didn’t have a heart either, but his soul was whole, and it was hurting so much that he thought (did he even had a mind able to think anymore?) that it was going to shatter into a million pieces and fill his eternity just with unbearable pain. A similar glowing form was next to him.

“Oma, please, I need to help him, please, tell what I can do to erase his pain.” He would be spilling tears if he had tear ducts.

“He has to endure his grief on his own, Daniel. You can’t interfere with the lower planes anymore,” she replied with a serene tone.

“But I need to talk to him, let him know that I'm ok, that he did the right thing, please, I can’t leave him like that, I need to know he’ll be fine,” the former archaeologist implored.

“It takes time to control the manner to make the illusion of your body visible to mortals, and even if you were capable of it, as I told you, it's not permitted to interfere. In time you will learn the importance of that rule.”

“You interfered when you took my wife's son.”

“That was a different situation. The fate of the galaxy was involved in that decision. And don’t believe I wasn’t punished for that.”

Daniel was getting highly frustrated with the ascended being and her half-explanations, so he focussed on his lover. “Jack! Jack!” he yelled out. But his lover didn’t hear him. He just kept crying, hugging himself tightly. He was muttering something between sobs, and Daniel realized it was his name.

“Danny… Danny… Danny…”

“Jack, I'm here, god, I'm here, I'm ok, I'm right here, please, don’t be sad, everything will be ok.” Daniel was almost regretting having accepted Omar’s offer. Damn, how could he have left Jack alone? But he knew he hadn’t had a choice. The other option would have been living a half-life, permanently mutilated and in constant pain, unable to do his job anymore, and probably incapable of doing love anymore. A permanent liability.

“You must release your attachment to the lower planes, Daniel. Those who can fly aren’t meant to be held in cages. We must go now so you can begin your training.”

“No, no, I'm not going anywhere until I know he is ok!” Daniel couldn’t look away from his lover.

“Your friends will take care of him, he's not your responsibility anymore.”

At that moment, Jack stopped sobbing and got up slowly. He leaned on the wall to steady himself and then he started to drag himself along the hallway.

“Jack!” Daniel followed him. He tried to touch his shoulder but his ethereal form passed just through him. Damnit, that felt like that time he had been out of phase after touching the crystal skull. He pushed that thought away. It had been after that mission that he and Jack started their romantic relationship. It was too painful to think about that now. God, he had been dead for just a few hours and he was already missing Jack's touch terribly.

Jack came into his room, and stood motionless for some minutes, staring at the bed he shared with his lover. He felt a stabbing pain ripping his heart and he clutched his chest. He was panting heavily and squeezed his eyes shut. This was too much, too much pain. As much as when Charlie died. But then he had met Daniel, and Daniel had made him want to live again. But Daniel was gone now, and there was nothing, no one worth living for.

“Danny, god, Danny, I can’t do this without you, I can’t… Damnit, I don’t even know if you’re really dead, I don’t understand all that… glowy crap. Teal’c said you ascended, he doesn’t think you’re really dead, but… the truth is… I don’t give a damn, because the thing is that you’re gone, forever, and… I don’t want to go on without you, I can’t… and I won’t…”

His shoulders started to shake again and new tears wetted his yet dampened cheeks.

Daniel implored Oma again that she let him talk to the Colonel.

“I can’t help you with that, Daniel, you must find your own way. The connection you have with O’Neill is only yours. Only you can find a way to get to him.”

Well, at least she had pull over the “ _you cannot interfere in the lower planes_ " speech, Daniel thought.

“But how, Oma, how? How?

“There is only one thing that exists in both planes, and therefore, the only channel a mortal and an ascended being can use to communicate.”

“And which channel is that?”

Daniel looked at her waiting for the next clue. Even if he couldn’t see her human form at the moment, he knew she was smiling. She remained silent, so he understood that she wasn’t going to give him further explanations.

Jack started to walk again. He wobbled to the nightstand and opened it. He retrieved an object from the inside. Daniel stared in horror when he saw what it was, and realized the meaning of Jack’s intention. Jack’s gun.

_No. No, no, no, no._

Years ago, during their first night together, they had made a silent pact. They never talked about that openly, but both of them knew that they wouldn’t live alone anymore. Jack was going to fulfill his promise. He sat on the bed edge and looked at the gun with hollow, lifeless eyes.

“Danny, I can’t, I can’t do this without you. God, had I known what was going to happen… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for that fight we had a month ago, so sorry, I told you horrible things, I treated you as if I didn’t care, but I did, I cared, I just… I was scared… for you. You know I always get angry when I'm scared.”

Daniel knew what he was talking about. The fight they had during and after the Reese fiasco. Jack accused him of recklessly endangering his life again, and Daniel rebuked him for his usual motto of "shoot first, ask questions later."

_You stupid son of a bitch._

Things had been highly tense between them for days after that. They had almost split up. But they had eventually talked, and both of them had understood the other one point of view. Not shared, but at least understood. Daniel understood that Jack had acted convinced that Reese and her “toys" were going to kill him. After all, he had been locked at the gateroom with the replicators' mother-robot, with the blast doors locked. Nobody had had any way to know what was happening in there. And Jack understood that any life form was equally important to Daniel, even if it was an artificial one. The archaeologist, an orphan himself, had connected with the orphan childish android as if she was flesh and bone. They weren't at their best when they went to Kelowna, they still needed to talk a little more, but they were getting there.

“I'm sorry too, Jack, please, I love you, don’t do this, don’t do this, god, no, no…”

“You thanked me just before you went away,” Jack continued talking to what he thought was an empty room, “but it's me who wants to thank you. You made me live again when I thought my life was over.” He looked intensely at the gun again. “I love you Daniel, more than I ever thought it was possible to love another human being. You made my life worth living again.”

Jack positioned the gun's muzzle under his chin and closed his eyes.

“Jack, no, no, NO!” Daniel was desperate. He needed to get to Jack, had to reach him right away. “Oma, please, help me, help me!”

“You got your answer, Daniel, you can’t get to him with words. He can’t hear them anymore, not from the physical plane.”

Daniel was now terrified and utterly frustrated. “There is only one thing that exists in both planes,” Oma had said. Daniel’s mind wandered to the Goa'uld pleasure palace on P4X-347, where more than one year ago, Jack saved him from committing suicide. Where his words didn’t reach, his love did.

_Love._

He and Jack were one, a unity. They were one heart. One soul.

_One soul._

The soul. The soul was the only thing that existed on both planes and, therefore, the only channel to communicate.

Daniel concentrated on his love for Jack. He searched that feeling of absolute communion they shared in their intimacy. He thought in those days when they had made love slow and passionately, gazing at each other’s eyes. He remembered those days when they comforted each other after so many tough experiences. He concentrated on the feeling of Jack inside him, of him inside Jack, one completing the other. There weren’t just physical experiences. They were two soulmates sharing endless love. Maybe he didn’t have a body anymore, but the love, the connection, was so real as the first day.

And suddenly, he felt his ethereal form moving towards his lover, attracted by him like some sort of magnet. And then, he was in him, inside him, their souls connected as one. He felt the absolute despair of his lover’s soul and his own cried for the raw pain that Jack was feeling.

_Jack_.

The colonel froze.

“Daniel?” Was he imagining things? His eyes searched the room but he couldn’t see anything different.

_Jack, I'm here, I'm here, please, don’t do this, please, I love you, I'm here_.

“Danny?” He repeated.

_Jack, I'm here, I'm not really dead, I'll find a way to come back to you, please, don’t do this, I'll go back to you_.

Jack felt something warm wrapping his heart and he knew he wasn’t alone. The hand holding the gun began to loosen.

“God, Danny, Danny…”

And then he could feel it clearly. Daniel's scent filled the room and he could feel his chest expanding and an overwhelming feeling of love invaded his whole body. And were a minute ago there was only darkness now there was a dim light, and where there was only despair, now there was a glimmer of hope. He took a deep breath and drunk from his lover’s scent. Then he felt something brushing his cheek and slowly opened his eyes.

Daniel could see his own hand caressing Jack’s face. It didn’t look completely solid, it was more like a shinning shadow, like the semi-ethereal form Oma showed him in Kheb. And the way Jack’s eyes wide-opened, it was clear that he could see him in some form or another.

The colonel stared stunned at the glowing incorporeal form that was wearing Daniel’s face and stretched out his arm to touch him. His fingers passed through his cheek and he gasped.

“Jack, I'm real, I’m here,” he whispered, his voice charged with raw emotion.

“Daniel… I can see you, but you look… different?”

“Jack, I still don’t know what’s that exactly, but I’m not really dead. Please, Jack, lower your weapon.

“Daniel… “ Jack lowered the hand that held the gun and rested it on his lap. “ It's all my fault, I should have asked you to stay.”

“No, Jack, you did the right thing.”

“Like you did the right thing when you neutralized that damned bomb?!” Now he was getting angry. “Why the hell did you have to play the hero? Why, Danny, why?!

“Jack, to be honest, at that very moment, I didn’t know I was going to die.” His voice was soft and empath.

“Why the hell didn’t you let them solve their own mistakes?”

“There was no time, the bomb was going to explode. Would it have been better if I had died in the explosion, along with all the inhabitants of the country?”

“Jonas should have done it, it was his damn planet!”

“Maybe, but I really didn’t give him the opportunity. I don’t blame him. I acted out of instinct. He was too terrified to move. The planet was going to blow to bits in seconds.

Jack stared at him intensely. He was right, damn him. He would have died one way or the other.

“The only difference, Jack, is that you would have died with me.”

“You know, I don’t have any problem with that.”

“No? And what about Sam and Teal’c? Would you have sacrificed them as well?”

_Crap._

“No,” Jack lowered his eyes in shame. “No, of course not. Damnit, why do you have to be right always?”

“Nothing of this is your fault, Jack.” Daniel’s eyes radiated compassion.

“No, I guess not. Let’s just blame the Langaran and their utter stupidity.”

“It wasn’t Jonas fault, either, don’t have it in for him.”

“I don’t think I can’t hang out with him right away.” Jack's features tightened.

“Just don’t be too harsh to him, ok? Daniel smiled fondly.

“He should have done it, and he knows it.” At that moment Jack was really angry with the Langaran scientist. Maybe it wasn’t his fault that the bomb existed, but he was the one who should have sacrificed to save his planet.”

“He isn’t used to that kind of situation. He is just a scholar.”

“Just like you were at our first mission to Abydos, but that didn’t stop you from blocking that staff blast meant for me with your gut.”

“That was different. I loved you already, remember?”

The two lovers stared at each other for a while with sadness. Even if they couldn’t interact anymore, their eyes talked about deep love and loyalty.

“Daniel, I… I need to ask… would it have changed something if I had asked you to stay?

“My body couldn’t heal completely, there was too much damage in it, this one was the only acceptable option, the only way I can continue the fight at some level. And someway you knew that too. That’s why you didn’t ask me to stay.” Daniel smiled softly.

“I don’t know, I just don’t know, I’ve got the feeling that Oma tricked us someway. I would have never let you go so easily. What if… what if Jacob had healed you? Maybe he was wrong, you know the Tok’ra, they are always screwing up everything. God, Daniel, I don’t know, I just feel like I killed you, and it hurts so much, like when Charlie died. You helped me then, but now, I don’t think… I don’t think I can go on with that guilty feeling anymore.

“Jack, no, please, don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault, you did the right thing, I just… know it.” Daniel frowned with concern. He tried to touch Jack again, but his hand kept passing through his face.

“God, I love you so much… how am I going to get over it without you? God, I killed you, I killed you, the same way I killed Charlie, God, I’ve killed the two most important people in my life.” Anguish was written all over his face and the hand holding his gun tightened its grip again.

It looked like Daniel had gotten to Jack at some point, but he was losing him again, caught in his guilt. He didn’t know what to say to convince him. He had started to relax, but now he was terrified again.

“Jack, no, no! You did the right thing! Listen to me! Oma, please, help me, help him!”

Oma had been watching the scene with sadness. It wasn’t usual for human beings to achieve this level of commitment in a relationship. She recognized the two men for what they were, true soul mates. Daniel would never accept his new level of existence if he couldn’t trust O’Neill was ok. They didn’t have much time. If Daniel refused to leave with her, he could be trapped in a half-existence between planes forever. She stretched out one of her tendril-looking arms and rested her hand on Jack’s forehead.

“Oma, what are you doing?” Daniel asked, surprised by the unexpected movement.

“Oma? Daniel, is she here? What…? He couldn’t talk anymore. He collapsed forward and everything went black.

“You asked me for help, Daniel, so I'm helping him to understand.”

***

_All of a sudden, Jack was standing up in his living room, wondering what the hell just happened. He looked around and realized that something was not quite right. Some things were different. For starters, his couch had been substituted by one much bigger, one of those with multi-position options. Why would he change his couch? He liked it just the way it was. There was also a new armchair. But the most surprising thing was the adorned Christmas tree decorating the room. There were packages on its foot, wrapped in colorful gift wrap._

_“What the hell…?”_

_He heard a noise in the kitchen area and what he saw stopped him on his tracks. He, or rather a copy of him, was standing in front of the fridge, with a bottle of water in his hand and his forehead pressed on the metallic door._

_“Holy… bucket! Hey!”_

_The figure didn’t react to his voice. Jack approached his twin and tried to grab his shoulder. His hand passed right through him._

_“What the hell is going on here?”_

_He searched the area and saw the calendar hanging on the wall. December 24 th. That was months from now. “What’s this?”, he thought, “My personal version of A Christmas carol? And who am I supposed to be, Ebenezer Scrooge?”_

_Suddenly the other O'Neill came out of the kitchen and Jack followed him, but after a few yards, he stopped abruptly on his tracks. There was a wheelchair in the hallway that led to the rooms. He looked at it for a second, stunned, and then followed his twin’s steps again. He went to his room and left the door open. Slowly, Jack moved closer and cautiously stepped into the room. What he saw made his heart skip a beat._

_Daniel was on his boxers, sitting on the bed. One of his arms was wrapped around his stomach while the other one was holding a basin between his legs. He was retching and spitting remains of bile. O’Neill sat next to him and rubbed his back tenderly. When the retching stopped, he leaned back and rested on the big pillows set on the headboard._

_“You finished?” Jack asked softly._

_Daniel didn’t answer. He just nodded weakly and wrapped both arms around his midsection. Jack put the bottle of water in his lips, and he drank a mouthful. Then the older man grabbed the basin and went to the bathroom to throw away its contents. When he came back he sat behind his lover and Daniel rested his head on his shoulder. The colonel’s twin pressed a wet cloth against the archaeologist’s forehead and began to stroke his arm in smoothing movements._

_“Better?”_

_Daniel just nodded again._

_Jack stared at the scene, paralyzed, his eyes glued to his lover, or rather the gaunt figure that resembled his lover. He was much thinner, especially on his legs, where a large amount of muscle mass had disappeared. His skin was too white and there were huge dark bags under his eyes. But what shocked him most was that there wasn’t a single hair on his head._

_O’Neill kissed the top of Daniel’s head. “God, Daniel, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, just because of my selfishness.” His eyes grew moist._

_Jack, no, please, don’t start,” the younger man replayed weakly. We've talked about that a thousand times. This isn’t your fault.”_

_“The hell it isn’t! It was me who didn’t listen to you, who didn’t ask Jacob to stop. I just didn’t want to lose you, I was selfish, Daniel, and now you’re paying the price. And I'm so, so sorry… If I could go back in time…”_

_"Shhhhh, Jack, no, no, I'm fine now. I'm sorry I screwed up Christmas Eve. I know you planned it for weeks, just to cheer me up. It wasn't nice throwing up in Sam's shoes. Will you apologize on my behalf, please? He could barely keep his eyes open. He was so tired. His whole body was sore and his stomach was churning._

_“You have nothing to apologize for, baby, she understands. But I'm worried about you, Daniel. With each passing day, you're getting worse”_

_“I'm fine, Jack, you don’t need to worry.”_

_“How can I not worry? You feel ill most of the time. There are a lot of nights that you can’t sleep because of your stomach cramps. Janet says you have more holes in your insides than an Emmental cheese. And you can’t move around without the wheelchair anymore. And all because of my stupid selfishness! You’re suffering endless pain because I made a wrong call, and I'll never, never forgive myself.”_

_The older man rested his forehead on Daniel’s head. He didn’t know what to do to smooth his lover’s pain. Janet’s medicides didn’t seem to do the trick anymore._

_Daniel replied slowly. He was exhausted. “They’re not holes, Jack, you make it seem worse than it is. They’re ulcers, and they might heal with time. It is not that bad, I swear, and I love you, even if I can’t show you anymore, and your presence is enough to erase the pain.”_

_“They’re not healing, they’re getting worse.” Jack's twin heart ached badly. His love, his soul mate, the man he considered his husband was slowly being destroyed and it was his fault. “God, you knew what this would be like. You knew you wouldn’t heal completely, you asked me to let you go so you could keep on fighting, and now, now…”_

_O’Neill squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed the lump in his throat. He fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. Jack could hear his thoughts. How could Daniel forgive him so easily? That was a trait he never fully understood in his lover. He didn’t deserve such a loving partner, but there he was, loving him despite his mistake, and he knew that he'd never, never leave him alone to deal with his pain._

_“I still can do some translations, Jack, it's not like I gave up the fight completely.”_

_“How is that you always can see the good in everything? God, I love you so much.”_

_Then remained silent for a while until Daniel fidgeted in his partner arms and spoke weakly._

_“Jack, I'm kinda tired, I'll like trying to sleep for a while. Could you…?”_

_The colonel carefully moved from behind him, kissed him tenderly on the lips, and stroke his face. Then he came out of the room. Jack didn’t move, and as soon as his twin closed the door, he watched in horror as Daniel turned on his side and clutched his belly while he squeezed his eyes shut and his face contorted in agony. A single tear rolled from the corner of his eye to the tip of his nose. Damn the man. He was concealing the real pain from his lover, just to make him feel better._

_Jack couldn’t take it anymore. Hot tears fell free down his cheeks. He began to tremble from head to toe. The vision of his lover in such agony was unbearable but he couldn’t look away. He felt as if his heart had been smashed. He was paralyzed. He didn’t try to move closer and touch him, he knew what would happen if he tried, and he couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to comfort his lover and erase his pain. All of a sudden, the whole ascension crap didn’t look so bad. He’d rather let Daniel go than keeping him condemned to live through such an endless amount of pain. Finally, his legs gave up and fell to his knees._

_“Daniel, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, forgive me, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he repeated the same mantra while crying bitterly._

“Jack. Jack.”

_Daniel?_

“Jack, open your eyes, love. I got you, I’m here, open your eyes.”

He noticed his eyes were opening slowly, and blinked repeatedly. What he saw just wasn’t possible. Daniel was kneeling in front of him. He was wearing a white sweater that he had never seen before and he was looking more beautiful than ever. His glasses were gone and the blue of his eyes shone intensely.

“Da… niel,” he whispered. He slowly sat up and reached out an arm and tried to touch his lover’s face. To his surprise, his hand didn’t pass through it. It felt as solid as ever.

“Jack, I can’t stay, but before I go, I need to know you’re alright.” His eyes were glistening with unshed tears, just like before, in the ghost gateroom, with Oma.

Jack cupped his face and rubbed his cheek tenderly with his thumb. “I saw the alternative. You… you did the right thing. The alternative is… just much more painful.”

“So you understand now?”

Jack nodded sadly.

"I have to go now, but this is not the end. I don't know how yet, but I promise I will find a way to get us back together. Wait for me. Don't give up on me already. "

“Ok, ok, I… I trust you. Just, don’t ask me to be happy without you.”

“Aw, Jack, please, promise me you’ll at least try. You’re not alone. Let Sam and Teal’c help you. I watched her. She needs you too. Don’t push them away.”

“Ok, ok, I'll try, but I can’t promise anything.”

Daniel leaned forward and their lips met in a slow and passionate kiss. As soon as he broke the kiss, Daniel’s body began to glow and lose its consistency again.

“I have to go now. I love you, Jack, forever. Never forget that.”

“I love you too, Da-nny, forever,” he replied with a trembling voice.

And with that, Daniel’s glowing form rose towards the ceiling and disappeared through it, the same way he did in the infirmary some hours ago.

Jack lay on his, held his lover’s pillow against his body and he cried. It wouldn’t be easy. He was missing him badly already. But he just promised Daniel that he’d try. Now, along with the pain, there was a glimmer of hope. Maybe his lover was right and that wasn’t their final dance. Although he did not always believe Daniel, he had always believed in him. And he had promised he'd find a way to come back. And for now, that was enough to keep his heart beating.

**The end, for now**


End file.
